Thursday, October 16, 2008
How to bring out my inner Redneck
okay...apparently I am some kind of evil enviromental terrorist. I’m a smoker. Have been for the better part of 20 years. I’m not necessarily proud of it. But it’s a fact and one that I’ll admit to anyone and I don’t care. I know it’s an addiction...blah blah blah...whatever...I freakin love it. Anyway, this morning on my way to work I was sitting at a traffic light over here by my job. I finished one of the 3 cigarettes I smoke on the way to work...gotta load up cause I’m off the sticks til lunch time...and like I usually do, I flicked the butt out the window. Okay, I know it’s littering and it’s wrong and I know I could be fined up to $500 for littering and i know I should Keep Tennessee Clean...whatever. I do it, all us smokers do it. Bite me. Anyway, this freaking guy behind me in a....get this, so typical...PRIUS honked his little horn at me. When I looked back at him through the mirror, he actually pointed to the ground and shook his finger at me. Well I bet ya’ll know what I did...I shook my finger right back....guess which finger I shook. Anyway, this guy passed me in his little eco-friendly gas saver and he had an Indiana tag that was some kind of speacialty plate that said ENVIRONMENT. Okay you have the right to care about the environment, you have the right to say what you want to about it and how we’re all killing mother earth. I get it. My very own parents are environmental activists so trust me....I’VE HEARD IT ALL BEFORE...MANY TIMES. But this little fellow going around scolding people is gonna get him cussed out for sure but he better watch who he’s scolding cause he ain’t in Indiana any more...we’re rednecks here and not only will we thump a cigarette butt out the window, we’re pretty damn likely to thump it directly between your eyes if you mess with us too much. Damn hippy.