Wednesday, November 19, 2008

So Much Tragedy For Such a Little Day

I woke up this morning thinking it would be like any other day. Didn't happen. My usual routine is to slap the snooze button on the alarm clock several times until I can no longer put off the inevitable. This morning was different. I was only able to hit the snooze button twice. The tv in my room, still on the same channel as last night when I fell asleep watching the 10 o'clock news, was on the morning news and even though I was not fully awake, the voice of the anchor saying a familiar name jolted me into a straight sitting position. Did I just hear that right? Did he just say that B**** D***** was arrested for Vehicular Homicide??? I did the cartoon head shake and looked directly at the tv and sure enough, there, as big as Texas was my friend's mugshot. He had been on the interstate two afternoons before, apparently driving like a damn maniac either following or racing some other maniac, lost control of his car, hit another car that flipped over and ejected two people. One person died, the other is in critical care.

I am in complete shock. This is a man who is in his late 40's, has a wife and 3 children. He has tuition bills and mortgage payments and credit card debt. He is your average middle class working man. He is active in his children's activities and in his community. He and his wife have been friends of ours for years. Now, he's on his way to the clink and another man is on his way to the grave.

How do I make that call to his wife? What would I say?

What he did was careless, thoughtless, horrible. I am just mortified. There was a man with children, grandchildren, friends who they will never see again. And that is because of my friends actions. The victims family will be sympathized with, casseroles and pies will be brought to their house, insurance will pay for hospitals and funerals. Flowers will be sent and cards mailed. They will be interviewed by news media and the will be given help with money and arrangements and they will be prayed for. And they deserve every little bit of it.

I just wonder who, other than myself and a handful of others, will cry for a cute freckled faced 11 year old boy and a lovely 17 year old young lady when they see their father carted off to prison and their college money go to pay attorneys and restitution. Who will care when they have to move out of their home because their mother is unable to pay the mortgage? Who cares that it is a certainty that these kids will be ridiculed by their peers for something they had no control over? Who will send money or pies to this family who is also grieving? The embarrassment this woman will have to endure due to her husband, who up until this incident, has provided love and support and companionship to her for over 20 years. My heart breaks for them.

People are saying that its the victims family that has lost their loved one and their lives are changed forever. This is terrible and it's true. But all I see are victims and I'm so sick over it all that I just want to scream.


Fancy Schmancy said...

Oh my god, how horrible! For both families. What a tragedy for all involved. My heart goes out to them all.

Mindi said...

so sorry--that just sucks. big time. and it's hard to feel helpless, standing by the sidelines, not able to do much.

hope you will be inspired to know what to do.

Nathan said...

Wow. This really makes you take a step back. I'm speechless.

I feel horrible about all of it, and I appreciate your acknowledgment of the pain that exists on the other end, the side no one thinks about.

Braja said...

So sorry. What can I say...

trublubyu said...

so awful. i am so sorry to hear about this. i hope the families are doing well.